Return to Total Drama Island
by Lord Akiyama
Summary: Spin-off story to "Total Drama Academy: Year One."  Beth, Bridgette, Cody, Duncan, Eva, Geoff, Izzy, Lindsay, Owen, and Tyler join Alejandro and Sierra on a forced two week trip back to Camp Wawankawa for more mayhem and destruction.
1. Doubleback

**Return to Total Drama Island**

a _Total Drama Academy_ spin-off story

by Lord Akiyama

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> This is a spin-off story taking place within the same universe as _Total Drama Academy_. It occurs during the first break period in _Year One_.

Just remember that the story is created under the assumption that _Total Drama Action_ does not happen. Though I may consider throwing in elements that I like. Meaning this story should be considered alternate universe. Strange how that works, don't you think?

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

**Doubleback  
><strong>

_(Narrated by Chris McLean)_

Fall in Camp Wawanakwa. The once lush green leafs that sprouted life from the trees are now brown and withering. The wildlife working hard to gather supplies for their forthcoming hibernation through the cold winter. The temperatures that were once warm were now beginning to dip to more cooler temperatures. Peace overtaking an otherwise scenic beauty.

But not for long!

For the next two weeks, drama strikes back with a vengeance. There is so much more to be done to fame-hungry and money-grubbing teens who are contractually obligated to endure the pain and suffering. And once again, this majestic island in the middle of Muskoka, Ontario will be the battleground for the emotional tension and physical carnage to come.

Ten of your favorite celebrity victims looking to extend their fifteen minutes:

Beth...

_(A toilet is heard flushing and Beth runs up to Chris, having a trail of toilet paper stuck to her foot. Beth - "What did I miss?")_

Bridgette…

_(Bridgette gasps in horror upon hearing what the hot dogs in front of her are made of. Bridgette - "But… dolphins are our friends!")_

Cody…

_(Cody - "So… is Sunday out of the question?" Gwen twirls her paddle like a baton and rams it against Cody's groin. Cody - /_Strains._/ "Uh… got it…")_

Duncan…

_(Duncan - "The girl can't keep her antlers off me." Courtney kicks him in the groin. Duncan - /_In a squeaky voice._/ "Can't even bend over…")_

Eva…

_(Eva - /_Fuming._/ "This isn't the end of me! You better watch your backs! I'm not done! I'll get my revenge!")_

Geoff…

_(Geoff - "Beavers, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." Beavers proceed to slap him around with their tails, causing him to scream.)_

Izzy…

_(Izzy - "You'll never get me alive!" Laughs hysterically and runs off with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police helicopter in hot pursuit.)_

Lindsay…

_(Lindsay is reading a magazine as she does her business, completely unaware that she is being filmed. After a full minute, she looks up and realizes she is being filmed and slowly hides her face behind the magazine.)_

Owen…

_(Owen - "Stay awake for twelve hours? I can do that in my sleep!" Cheers and then suddenly freezes before keeling over and falling fast asleep instantly.)_

and Tyler…

_(Tyler - "Oh, you're going down! We're gonna bring the dinner to the table, and then we're gonna eat it!")_

They will be joined by two attention-starving lunatics in Alejandro and Sierra.

Together, all twelve will be competing for a lucrative crash prize in the name of quality entertainment.

Excitement, drama, action, violence, fresh fruit, passion, thrills, spills, romance, adventure. All the things you can read about in a book. And they await our twelve contestants as they…

_RETURN TO TOTAL_…

_DRAMA_…

_ISLAND_!

_(cue Theme Song)_

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><p>In the beginning, there was no sound but that made by nature. The birds chirping, the bees buzzing, water gently swishing from one way to another, the wind blowing softly in one direction. Everything was calm and at ease. It did not last. Suddenly and almost in a flash, the roaring sound of a helicopter was present. The flying vehicle slowly came into a hovering position over an empty field of grass. Seconds later, twelve bodies were shoved out of one side and landed onto the ground with a thud. They were followed by twelve bags that dropped all around them. Moments later, the helicopter ascended upward and then quickly departed the scene. Leaving the twelve individuals lying on the ground to moan with extreme discomfort.<p>

"This bites…" Duncan groaned as he sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh, why do we have to do this again?" Bridgette questioned with a sigh, pushing herself onto her knees.

"I didn't even get to try out my new Vespa," Tyler complained, not bothering to move from his contorted, lying position.

"That better not be someone's hand grabbing my right boob," Eva uttered darkly. Seconds later, Geoff screamed and bounced into the air, nearly crashing into Bridgette as he came down. Eva shot up to her feet with a vicious scowl on her face. "What the hell is the matter with you, party boy? Playing a never-ending game of tonsil hockey with your girlfriend not enough that you have to keep copping a feel of my boobs?"

"I swear, dudette, I'm not doing it on purpose!" Geoff cried, trying to hide behind the perplexed looking surfer girl. "I don't even want to cop a feel of your boobs for real!"

"O-M-G, I'm actually at Camp Wawanakwa!" Sierra cheered as she jumped to her feet. Then she started giggling wildly. "And I finally get to be with Codykins!" She then reached down and snagged whatever body part of Cody she could get her hands on, pulling it up immediately for a bone-crushing embrace. Too far gone in a lovely daze to realize that he was screaming as if she was killing him.

"She's got my leg!" Cody managed to say between screams. "I don't wanna lose my leg!" Fortunately for him, he did not have to scream any further as Beth grabbed him from underneath his arms and pulled. Seconds later, his leg slipped out from Sierra's embrace and the two crashed down onto the ground.

"What's the matter with you?" Beth asked Sierra in a stern voice. "Can't you see that you are scaring him?" She stopped when she noticed that the other girl was clearly paying no attention whatsoever to her. In fact, Sierra was now doing something extremely creepy. Beth watched almost in disgust as Sierra began sniffing the inside of Cody's shoe that happened to remain in her grasp after he escaped. Cody managed to catch sight of this and started to shiver in terror, curling up into a ball in the process.

"Más vale que valga la pena todo el trabajo…" Alejandro muttered quietly as he began brushing dust and grass off of his sleeves.

"I don't wanna be back here!" Lindsay cried helplessly. "It's all dirty and smelly and icky and nasty! And they put a camera in the potty!"

"Aw, come on, guys!" Owen stated joyfully. "It's not all that bad. A lotta fun things happened while we were here. Like the time we overcame our fears of stuff."

"Oh, I got a better one!" Izzy declared, hopping up and perching on the shoulders of her hefty boyfriend. "Like the time we had to camp out in the woods and I scared everyone on the Screaming Gophers by dressing up like a bear only for a real grizzly bear to show-up afterward! That was so cool!" The others appeared plenty afraid as they stared at Izzy and Owen cackling with delight.

Before any more could be said or done, a helicopter returned to the scene. This time, it slowed its descent onto the ground to stop permanently. Upon watching the vehicle touch down, the twelve teenagers groaned and finally gathered themselves onto their feet. They looked over, waiting for the inevitable of the host introducing himself. The propellers came to a stop and the door slid open. A long red carpet was rolled out onto the ground, further causing the campers to scowl with disgust. But when the host emerged from the helicopter, they were in for quite a shock.

"That's… not Chris…" Cody managed to utter in disbelief.

* * *

><p><strong>(Riker Hall Confession Cam)<strong>

Chris - /_Sniggers._/ "I would have joined the kiddies going back to Camp Wawanakwa, but the producers needed me to hang back for some boring, yet interesting meetings. So there will be a brand new host of _Total Drama Island_." /_Sniggers some more._/ "If you think I'm terrible to them…"

* * *

><p>"Welcome back to Camp Wawanakwa!" the new host announced, stepping out of the helicopter and onto the red carpet. "And welcome to a glorious… <em>Return to Total Drama Island<em>! I'm your host, Blaineley O'Halloran!" The blonde woman was wearing her apparently signature red dress, red high-heels, and red earrings as she glided her way toward the contestants, all of whom were gobsmacked in shock at who they were now dealing with. "Ten recognizable faces and two debuting hopefuls are here to endure a gauntlet of pain, suffering, and torture, all at a chance to win a cool cash prize."

"We ain't exactly here by choice, lady," Duncan noted sternly. "It's only because we ended up with the rotten luck of eating super hot sushi."

"Yeah," Tyler cried, crossing his arms over his chest. "I just won a sweet amount of stuff and I haven't even had a chance to break them in yet."

"More like break them into pieces," Eva muttered under her breath.

"There can't possibly be anything worth being back to this dreadful place for another two weeks," Bridgette proclaimed firmly.

"I could think of five hundred thousand," Blaineley responded, speaking in a nonchalant manner while admiring her nails polished in red. In doing so, she was ignoring the sudden gasps that were heard from the campers, wondering if they had heard her correctly. She looked up from her nails and cleared her throat. "That's right, $500,000 await the lucky winner of your two week stay in Camp Wawanakwa."

"Half a million dollars?" Geoff managed to say breathlessly. "Dudes, that's a lotta dough!"

"Okay," Alejandro said, rubbing his hands together. "Now we're talking."

"Woo-hoo!" Izzy cheered wildly. "Five hundred thousand big ones coming to momma!"

"I wouldn't even know where to begin if I had $500,000," Beth uttered in awe.

"That would, like, make me the richest girl in the whole wide world!" Lindsay cried, bouncing up and down with joy. Completely oblivious to the wondering eyes of some of the male contestants, her boyfriend in particular.

"Alright, $500,000!" Owen yelled, pumping his fist in the air and nearly knocking Izzy from off his shoulders. "That's almost double what I won last time!"

"With that kind of money, I can finally make that life-size Cody doll," Sierra squirmed with delight. Unaware that she was continuing to terrify the object of her desire.

"Now that I have you all salivating of what could be yours, I think it's time we get this party started," Blaineley announced. "For the first half of this venture, all challenges will be straight-up Battle of the Sexes. Sierra will captain Team B-/**censored**/-ch and Alejandro will captain Team P-/**censored**/-ck."

"Wait, what?" Bridgette asked in shock. She was not alone as nearly all of the others campers once again gasped over what they heard. "Those are the team names?"

"Are we even supposed to say that on TV?" Geoff questioned, scratching the part of his head underneath his hat with a curious brow raised.

"Would be amusing if it were," Duncan stated with a chuckle.

"But still, those can't possibly be our team names," Cody noted.

"What is a p-/**censored**/-ck, any way?" Tyler asked with honest interest.

"Oh, fine," Blaineley said, throwing her hands up briefly and rolling her eyes in annoyance. "Should've remembered what whiny little brats you are. Girls will be… Team Cat… and boys will be… Team Snake. Happy?"

"Personally, I liked the other ones better," Eva muttered, again under her breath.

"Can the cats be kittens?" Lindsay asked, having raised her hand out of instinct. "They're more precious and adorably cute!"

"I should be on Team Snake," Izzy proclaimed in objection. "I own a real wicked boa that can swallow three times his size. He nearly ate Owen whole one time."

"Being in his mouth tickled," Owen giggled in remembrance.

"Snakes can do that?" Beth questioned, starting to shake nervously at the thought of anything being able to swallowing something as big as Owen whole.

"But… But I wanna be with Cody…" Sierra whimpered, just seconds away from bursting into tears. This still gave the techno geek little comfort, knowing this girl would likely do anything to be with him.

"Look, we got the team names and Sierra and I are the captains, " Alejandro stated in frustration. "Can we please get a move on? I'm starting to get antsy about how you plan on torturing us."

"As I was saying," Blaineley announced, bringing the attention back to her. "Alejandro and Sierra will be the captains, and are therefore immune from elimination through the first half. This is because of the mandate the producers demand we enforce that they experience as much of the horrors that you ten previously dealt with as possible. They wanted to be on the show so badly, they'll have to earn their stripes."

"So then what's your story, toots?" Duncan asked, raising a suspicious brow. He merely stared back when the host gave him a death glare in her initial response to what he called her.

"Yeah," Tyler began to say in agreement. "How come you're the host?"

"L-O-L, it's quite the story, really," Sierra replied. "Alejandro and I, like, managed to overhear recently that she was originally offered the hosting gig in the beginning, but she ended up turning it down because she thought it was beneath her. But then, and this is where it gets really interesting, Chris negotiated his way into being a producer and thus got to earn more money. That, like, really ticked Blaineley off since she ended up doing _Celebrity Manhunt_ instead."

"Thank you for that illuminating explanation, Sierra," Blaineley stated through gritted teeth. She then tried to reclaim her composure by merely tossing her hair back. "If we can get back to the matter at hand of starting your first challenge. Today will be a non-elimination round, so be thankful you won't have a quick exit right off the bat."

"I'd rather have the quick exit," Geoff declared. "Playa Des Losers is so off the charts awesome, man."

"You don't get sent to Playa Des Losers when you're eliminated," Blaineley announced, a smirk forming on her lips as she spoke. The contestants dropped their jaws in disappointment when they heard this. "Too luxurious of a place to put the losers, really. Not to mention you kiddies would try to intentionally throw challenges in an effort to get off this rock and go straight over there. No, after consulting with the producers, I felt it would be so much better if we sent the losers to a more appropriate location. Boney Island."

"What?" all twelve campers cried in horror.

"That's right, once you're eliminated, you get sent to a cabin that's been recently erected on Boney Island," Blaineley proclaimed rather gleefully. "After watching the show, some idiot thought it would make for a great vacation destination and built a little place there. He hasn't been heard from ever since. But fear not, little ones, we'll have cameras situated all over the building so we'll know if something happens to you during your stay over there."

"That hardly makes it any more safe to be in at all," Bridgette nearly cried.

"I'm starting think that maybe we were better off with Chris as host," Cody uttered quietly.

"What's the big deal?" Eva questioned, clearly not bothered at all by what danger would await them at Boney Island. "Just a buncha dumb oversized rodents that inhabit the place."

"And they all get scared so easily," Izzy added, waving her hand in an unimpressed manner. "So I made a cool, giant bonfire. It's not like it was a nuclear explosion or anything." The initial silence from just about everyone else was supposed to inform her that they thought otherwise. She was either not aware of this or just did not care.

"But it's all dirty and smelly," Lindsay whimpered. "I think I, like, still have some of the quicksand stuck in my boots."

"I don't wanna go back there," Beth stated in an incredibly worrisome tone. "Don't you guys remember what happened when I didn't know that I wasn't supposed to take anything off of the island?"

"Not to mention you didn't necessarily do what you were told in returning the idol to the island only to instead break it into three pieces and tried to flush it down the toilet," Alejandro noted. Beth blushed slightly in response, clearly having forgotten about that part altogether.

"I hope there's a lotta tasty treats here," Owen said, unconsciously changing the subject to the relief of the other contestants as he rubbed his stomach. "I'm getting really hungry and I haven't had anything since Chris let me eat all of those delicious snacks before we left."

"You can eat once the challenge is finished," Blaineley responded, starting to tap her feet with impatience. "And let us get back on topic, if I may, so you can stuff your faces as quickly as possible. Now then, since this is a non-elimination round, it is obviously a reward challenge. The reward being first pick of the cabins and have tonight's dinner catered by _Top Chef Canada_ runner-up Rob Rossi." The contestants began to liven up a little, murmuring among themselves what a delight it would be to have dinner served by an excellent chef for a change. "Otherwise, essentially all your dishes will be cooked by your new resident chef, Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca."

Blaineley pointed the campers over to the main lodge. There they spied what appeared to be a man of Mexican origin wearing a beat-up sombrero, had a huge bushy mustache under his nose, a dirty white shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his elbows, and half a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He was yelling something in Spanish, although even Alejandro was not even sure he was speaking proper Spanish, in such a way as to suggest he was arguing with someone. Only there was no one else there. He was speaking and cooking at an incredibly quickened pace while still arguing to seemingly nothingness about who knew what.

"Shouldn't you have made sure he cleaned up his language before coming here?" Alejandro asked with a brow raised. "Some of the things he's saying is definitely not right."

"Where'd you get this piece of work?" Duncan questioned. "Outside a Home Depot?"

"Not quite," Blaineley replied with a shrug. "I mean, we did pick him off of the streets and he was willing to work for cheap. What with the money that had to be paid for Mr. Rossi's services tonight. But enough about food!" Owen started to bawl in tears once this had been announced. "We have a challenge to execute. Today, you will all be competing in a game called Endurance Tag, a unique blend of hide and seek mixed with tag. Think of it more as an escape exercise."

"Escape?" Cody asked with a curious brow raised, something everyone seemed to be doing a lot lately.

"You have one hour to avoid any and every thing that comes out of that platform over there," Blaineley continued, pointing to a black platform that appeared almost out of nowhere between the two cabins. "At the start of the challenge, three ninjas will emerge from there and chase you all over the island. If they catch you, you will receive a specific form of punishment each ninja will perform. Upon receiving your punishment, you will be forced to wear a sticker on your person to signify that you have been captured by that particular ninja, and will be given one minute of immunity before another ninja can strike. Each ninja can capture you as many times as possible."

"Sounds like fun!" Izzy cheered with excitement.

"That sounds like crap," Eva retorted with a snort. "I take it we're not allowed to fight back."

"Fighting back will result in a very serious penalization, yes," Blaineley answered with a nod. Eva growled sternly in response. "And it gets better. After twenty minutes, two new ninjas will emerge and chase after the lot of you. Two more will be added every ten minutes thereafter until the one hour time limit elapses."

"That's eleven ninjas at most during the last ten minutes!" Beth cried in horror.

"Is that a lot?" Tyler asked in a baffled manner.

"Dude, that's whacked!" Geoff stated in shock.

"And you expect us to be running for our lives?" Bridgette questioned in disbelief.

"I don't like running challenges," Owen proclaimed sheepishly. "I get tired really quick."

"Wait until you receive the punishments," Blaineley noted, her smirk turning into a grin. "The ones handed out by the ninjas that enter later in the game get more harsh as time progresses."

"I hope they don't mess up my hair," Lindsay moaned. "It's, like, already been through so much damage since we got here."

"So how is this suppose to determine which team wins?" Sierra asked.

"Once the time limit expires, we'll tally up all of the punishments you've received," Blaineley began to answer. "The team with the least amount of total punishments win. As I noted earlier, fighting back results in a heavy penalty. Five punishments worth." The campers started to groan with displeasure upon hearing this. Five punishment tallies added would certainly be looked upon as a difference maker should the numbers get close. "If I were you, I recommend scouting out good hiding places and knowing how to get to each one quickly."

* * *

><p><strong>(Riker Hall Confession Cam)<strong>

Chris - /_Still sniggering._/ "That Blaineley sure is a piece of work, ain't she? Really sticking it to the kiddies on their first day."

* * *

><p>"Once I blow this air horn, the ninjas will be chasing after you non-stop for one hour," Blaineley announced, holding up the object she had just mentioned. "Good luck… and may God have mercy on your souls. Begin!" She pressed the button at the top of the air horn, causing it to sound quite loudly.<p>

In an instant, a ninja appeared at the top of the platform, as if jumping up from within. As he started racing down the ramp at full speed, the two other ninjas were released through doors that opened from either side of the platform. The contestants screamed in terror before turning and running for their lives as fast as they could away from their chasers. It was not long before one ninja caught up to Owen, who had no chance of outrunning any of the ninjas in a footrace. The ninja forced Owen into a bowing position before smacking him over the head with a slipper. Owen squeaked in pain before the ninja placed a sticker that read "_Slipper_" on his back. At least Owen would get one minute to at least try to hide in some way before the ninjas were allowed to attack him again.

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><p><strong>(Camp Wawanakwa Confessional)<strong>

Owen - /_Rubs head._/ "Ow! That really smarts! I don't know if I'm going to do all that well in this challenge."

Alejandro - "I don't mind that the teams are boys against girls. What I do mind is when we partake in a challenge that is obviously one-sided. How in the world is Owen not going to get caught every five minutes? Strike that, every two minutes."

Bridgette - "This is absolutely revolting! In no way is this challenge fun! Running for our lives and trying to avoid ninjas that will pop up at every turn. It's horrible!"

Eva - "I really hate this game, you know. The whole point is to run away. Run away as though we were scared of these clowns. Why the hell would I ever do such a thing like that?"

Izzy - "Isn't this great? To defeat a ninja at anything, you must become a ninja yourself. Mastering the art of deception by hiding in places and in ways your enemies would not think twice about. Izzy will be the true ninja. Izzy can lurk in the shadows without ever being caught." /_Cackles silently._/

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><p>Blaineley leaned back in her chair, relaxed as she could be. The occasional yells, cries, and screams of the campers heard in the distance was almost like music to her ears. She had just let out a comfortable sigh when she noticed that someone panting was slowly approaching her. At first, she did not bother to look up. Then the person spoke. And it was someone she was not expecting to see on Camp Wawanakwa at all.<p>

"Oh thank God, I made it!" the person proclaimed through heavy breathing and panting. "I didn't think I would have to swim so fast."

"Josh?" Blaineley uttered in surprise, opening her eyes and looking over at the other. Sure enough, there was a fairly young man with black hair that had silver highlights above the ears, wearing a tuxedo with a red bow tie that had tear marks all over, and was drenched from head to toe. "What happened to you?"

"For some reason, they stopped sending boats to the island," Josh began to explain as he continued to pant. "And all the helicopters were used up. So I figured I could swim to the island since we already know the area where the sharks are kept at. But I think they forgot to mention that there is apparently a genetically mutated shark that's now anthropomorphic. I actually had to run around the other side of the island to lose it before I could come here." He appeared to be on the verge of tears at this point. "And I've never been more happy to see you, Blaineley!"

"Josh, you are the most tolerable person I have ever met," he stated in a rather nonchalant tone. "But what the hell are you doing here? I thought you'd be happy running _Celebrity Manhunt_ all by yourself."

"That's what I thought was gonna happen, too," he responded. "But it seems there's this poll that was conducted that people would rather watch paint dry and find it more amusing than me hosting the show alone."

"Well, when you put it that way," Blaineley noted under her breath. There was no telling if she was kidding or not.

"So they went looking for someone they could serve as guest co-host while you were here," Josh continued, almost uninterrupted. "Once I saw who they brought in, though, I told them I'd be off for two weeks and came straight here."

"Who did they bring in?" she asked curiously. When he did not speak and just merely looked her in the eyes for a full minute, she managed to figure out the answer and gasped in horror. "He… did… not…"

* * *

><p>"Welcome to a very special edition of <em>Celebrity Manhunt<em>!" the guest host announced magnificently. "I'm your guest host for this week, Chris McLean! Here to show you how it's properly done, unlike those D-list wannabe hacks who wouldn't know a thing or two about how to properly entertain the people. We've got so much to talk about and in little time, so let's send it over to my guest co-host Chef Hatchet with our top juicy celebrity gossip of the week!"

"Thank you, Chris," Chef said, putting on his best attempt at a smile. It hardly looked anything like a smile and more like him just showing his teeth. "As y'all probably know by now, PETA has been picketin' the MTV offices for three weeks now in protest. They bin accusin' the network of animal cruelty against Snooki for airin' her on TV."

* * *

><p>"That… a-**censored**/-hole…" Blaineley muttered in fury. She then took a few deep breaths and calmed down, tossing her hair back in the process. "Okay, fine. He wants to play games, I'll be more than happy to take him on. That smug bastard thinks he's all that because he managed to turn this crap into a lucrative franchise. I can one up him. The drama produced this time will exceed that of those that happened under his watch."

"Oh, can I help?" Josh asked, getting on his knees in a begging position. It was almost as though he was turning into a hyperactive schoolgirl. "Please lemme stay and help. I won't be a disruption and I can be of valuable service."

"Hmmm…" she said, lightly rubbing her chin with one finger to think on it. "You do have a knack for making girls descend into cat fights when they don't even hate each other… And your cooking is rather decent, much better than the Mexican chef we picked off the road the other day…" As she continued to think, the distant sound of the Mexican chef arguing was heard for a moment. One would think that he might have picked up on what she said and was fuming in frustration, but that was an uncertainty unto itself. "Oh, what the hell. You be my personal chef and you can help me make sure these kids get violently dramatic on one another. Agreed?"

"I'm in!" Josh cheered, jumping to his feet. "This is going to be great. You and me doing something exciting for a change." He then started rubbing his hands and let out a quiet girlish squirm. "And all the cat fights I can't wait to see happen…"

"Yeah, yeah, we'll work on that in a bit," Blaineley stated, returning to her previous relaxed position on the chair. "Now fix me a turkey sandwich, will you? And don't forget to hold the mustard this time."

"Yes, ma'am!" he responded with a salute. As he turned and ran off to make her dish, a horn was sounded, signifying that twenty minutes had elapsed and two more ninjas were about to enter the competition.

* * *

><p><strong>(Riker Hall Confession Cam)<strong>

Chris - "Well, this oughta be interesting. Blaineley and Josh running the show their way. Although I do like that Mexican chef they picked up. Not too shabby, if you ask me."

* * *

><p>"Owwie…" Lindsay whined as she entered a seemingly secluded area of the forest. She was rubbing her forehead, which was lightly turning red. "I thought when someone flicked a finger at you it would tickle. But that really hurt!"<p>

"At least you haven't been bit yet," Beth said, who was a couple steps behind the blonde. "They might be wearing masks, but they still leave marks."

"I'd be more concerned of the possibility that he might have rabies," Eva grunted. It was not long before seemingly all of the girls were together in this one place, too tired to keep on running. Given the number of stickers they had on their backs, they've been caught plenty of times by the ninjas. "But for half a million, I'm willing to tough out anything."

"I have no doubt you would," Bridgette said through some light pants. She ignored the glare she received from the strong girl. "I just can't imagine $500,000 being worth all the trouble in the end. This is becoming more barbaric than last time and Chris was a horrible human being then as he is now."

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this," Sierra uttered. She spoke with a mixture of awe and excitement, hardly able to contain the joy she was feeling. "I'm on Camp Wawanakwa and I'm participating in a challenge! I didn't think I would be able to do this in a million years! Yeah, it hurts a lot, but that's what makes it even better. The pain is real!" The other girls looked at her with great concern and worry as the purple-haired fan girl bounced in place and squealed. She then suddenly came to a stop, as though she realized something. "Um… where's Izzy?"

"Who cares?" Eva responded with a snort. "Besides, she is probably having a blast being chased after by ninjas and trying to stick with her would only cause us to receive a whole lotta unnecessary punishment."

"But what if she found a good hiding place?" Beth quipped curiously. "One that we could all go to and hide out in until the challenge ends."

"I would, like, feel so much better if I knew where Iggy is," Lindsay noted. "I get so nervous not knowing what she's gonna do and stuff."

"Look, why don't we all just get a move on?" Bridgette suggested. "I mean, this clearing in the forest, while secluded, isn't exactly the safest place on the island to be in."

No sooner did she say this than a ninja appear suddenly from the bushes and grabbed her from behind. The surfer girl screamed in surprise and terror as she was being pulled away while the others bailed as quickly and as far away as they could. Curiosity getting the best of them, the remaining four girls placed themselves in hiding spots while also getting a good view of what the ninja will do to Bridgette. Eva was the only one not covering her eyes.

"I can't look!" Beth whispered in fear, anticipating something horrifying to happen. Moments had passed, but it sounded as though nothing was happening. It was rather quiet, actually.

"What the hell is this?" Eva suddenly raged quietly.

The other girls dared to look through their fingers to see what was going on. They were instantly perplexed, though they were probably not as perplexed as Bridgette herself. The surfer girl squatted on the ground, a bewildered look on her face, as the ninja executed his apparent punishment upon her. By forcing her to play jacks.

"I don't get it," Lindsay uttered in a low voice. "Is that supposed to hurt Brianna or something?"

"Maybe she gets punished if she loses," Sierra noted in a whisper.

However, it seemed that the outcome of the game was of little consequence. When the game was over, the ninja placed a sticker that read "_Jacks_" on Bridgette's back and then took off. The surfer girl was still as confused as she had been throughout, if not more so than ever. To simply put, this was indeed the strangest thing she had ever encountered during any of her stays on Camp Wawanakwa.

* * *

><p><strong>(Camp Wawanakwa Confessional)<strong>

Bridgette - /_Still looking perplexed._/ "That was… odd…"

Eva - /_Frustrated._/ "Is this suppose to be some sort of joke? You got ninjas that are trying to terrorize us, and then here's one that forces the dolphin lover to play jacks? Was whoever made up this game smoking crack?"

Sierra - /_Gushing with excitement._/ "This is, like, so amazing! I'm in the _Total Drama Island_ Confessional! I mean, I'm actually inside of it and making a confession! This is so cool! It's like my dreams are coming true! Now I just need to have one dream in particular come true…" /_Giggles like a schoolgirl._/

* * *

><p>Believing that Owen may have found a good hiding spot and with little else as an alternative, the rest of the boys joined him in a cave. The number of stickers on their backs indicated that they received a healthy amount of punishment from the ninjas. The number of stickers on Owen's back indicated that he got more an an ample amount. Which did not sit well with the others.<p>

"Owen, may I suggest that the next time you're running from a ninja, consider farting at them," Duncan said through heavy breathing. "I'm more than positive it will buy you enough time to get away from them scott free."

"Dudes, this is so bogus," Geoff complained, rubbing a spot on his forehead that was slightly turning red. "That finger from that one ninja is harsh, man."

"I'd still take that over being bitten," Cody muttered, lifting up his left leg. "Did he have to bite so hard so as to rip open my clothes? It's bad enough when…" He paused and started to shudder. "… When she does it…"

"We're so gonna lose now," Tyler stated in a huff, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't wanna lose. Not after I won last night."

"Look, we'll just hide out here until the time limit expires," Alejandro suggested. "This is actually not a bad place to be in, giving us a lot of ways to keep out of sight of the ninjas."

"And they would never come in here," Owen said, still maintaining a jolly expression even after all the punishment he had received thus far. "Not since this is where Mr. Bear lives." Within seconds, the rest of the guys rushed out of the cave as quickly as possible, screaming as they did so. Owen looked rather bewildered at seeing the others bail the way they did. "Hey, guys! Where are you going? I thought this was a great place to hide in?"

"What's the hold up, Owen?" a familiar voice called from within the cave. "This game is so much better with multiple people playing!"

"Coming, Izzy!" Owen responded, his sense of worry and concern for the other guys washing way in an instant as he walked in happily to join his girlfriend and the grizzly bear in playing a video game.

"We're so taking down the blue team today, boyos!" Izzy declared in a cackle. The bear merely grunted and contorted his facial expressions as he played the game.

* * *

><p>The rest of the boys continued to run for their lives, having ignored Owen's call that the cave was indeed safe. They were so afraid of the grizzly bear that they forgot about the fact that ninjas were hunting after them. They were reminded instantly of this fact when one tackled Alejandro to the ground. The attacking ninja was joined by two others as they hoisted the Latin newcomer to his feet and led him to a seemingly specific location.<p>

"Oh, what now?" Alejandro grumbled in disbelief. Within seconds, he saw that the ninjas were leading him to his proper punishment. One that caused his eyes to shoot wide open in horror. "No. No! No, anything but that!"

"No way," Tyler commented quietly to the others, watching what was happening from behind a nearby tree. "He's gonna get that again."

"What did Chris call it again last night?" Cody asked in a whisper. "The chinko machine?"

"Dude, that's whacked," Geoff cried in a very low voice.

While it truly was the most terrifying device known to man, and man as in the male gender as opposed to mankind as a whole, the other boys watched with great fascination and interest. Alejandro was forced onto the device, placed in a standing position with his legs speed just far enough apart. Seconds later, the catapult-like lever swung up in the blink of an eye and connected against its intended target. Alejandro let out a screaming that echoed throughout the island and beyond. After placing a sticker that read "_Chinko_" on his back, the ninjas departed, leaving him to drop to his knees and cover his injured area with both arms.

"They keep this up and the poor bastard won't be able to make babies," Duncan sniggered.

* * *

><p><strong>(Camp Wawanakwa Confessional)<strong>

Alejandro - /_Hisses in pain with ice bag placed over injured part, steaming coming off it._/ "So I'll be subjected to a whole lot of pain just because I'm new… That's fine… I'll endure… I'll win that $500,000… Somehow, some way…" /_Hisses again._/ "Querido Dios, me duele tan mal…"

Owen - "It was great of Izzy to let me hide with her in the cave with Mr. Bear. He's actually not that bad of a bear, once you get to know him."

Grizzly Bear - /_Continues to play video games despite being in a new location, tongue sticking out to one side._/

Izzy - /_Dressed as a cheerleader, speaking in a Russian accent._/ "Natasha Blatzky has landed her biggest part yet. It's the role of Cheerleader Number Three in an episode of the Emmy-nominated _Crime Scene: Barstow_! Natasha has, of course, done some serious character work. She's not one to come to the set unprepared. She's developed an elaborate backstory for Cheerleader Number Three which, sadly, the narrative doesn't give her much room to explore. But that's what acting is all about. During her big scene, she snaps her gum in a way that only a Russian spy posing as a cheerleader could snap. And when she says, 'Oh, my God!' what she's really saying is that she misses her childhood in the tundra of Kamchatka, harsh though it was. But it's not until Cheerleader Number Three flips her pom-poms just so that we realize the truth. That this Russian spy is merely posing as a cheerleader as research for her role as Cheerleader Number Two in an upcoming episode of _Crime Scene: Dayton_!" /_Throws pom-poms in the air and cackles, then instantly looks miffed with hands on hips._/ "Turns out that Russian spying doesn't pay all that well, after all. Despite what it says in the brochure."

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes had elapsed in the challenge and two more ninjas were added to the chase. One of the new ninjas was actually hiding within a pond that Lindsay was nearby. She screamed in terror when the ninja emerged, too scared to move before receiving her punishment, which was a hard slap over the head with an extremely wet and heavy seaweed.<p>

The other ninja arrived in a car, chasing after a screaming Tyler until he ran smack into a tree. The ninja, which looked almost as big as Owen, stepped out of the car and gave the winded jock his punishment. An extremely hard slap to the face that nearly knocked him out. The punishment actually paled in comparison to having been chased by a speed car, leaving Tyler traumatized for the remainder of the challenge.

* * *

><p>Forty minutes had elapsed and two more ninjas were added. One chased after Duncan before finally cornering him at the thousand-foot high cliff. The juvenile delinquent gave some serious thought to jumping into the lake, but then he noticed that there was something strange about the shark swimming below and decided to take his punishment instead. Which ended up being two hard whacks to the back of the head from the oversized harisen fan.<p>

Eva was not particularly pleased about being caught by the second new ninja. The ninja had managed to catch her off-guard for just a slight second when he popped down from a tree above her. With a grumble, she stood still to take her punishment. A whack on the head with a rubber chicken and then being forced to wear the dreaded chicken hat for the rest of the day. The anger that built up inside her was such and her face was turning so red that she could have easily set the chicken hat on fire.

* * *

><p>Blaineley had not been joking when she said that the latter ninjas, specifically those introduced in the final ten minutes, would be more punishing than the others. Sierra was the victim of the first. She was brought over to a tree where plastic hooks were placed just inside her nose. The hook was then being pulled up by a line, almost as though she was being fished and it caused her to squirm in pain. The line continued to tug and tug for a few more seconds before the ninja seemed satisfied that Sierra had been punished long enough, removed the hook from her nose and placed the "<em>Fishing<em>" sticker on her back. She doubled over onto the ground, clutching her nose as she moaned.

Geoff did not fare any better with the second new ninja. Upon being captured, the ninja led Geoff out into a clearing, where a group of more ninjas waited along with a strange object. It looked like a big wooden triangular block. Right away, Geoff could sense what was going to happen. They were going to force him to sit on the top of the object. It was painful enough, but then it got worst. The lead ninja blew a whistle and the others lifted the object with Geoff on top into the air. The ninja whistled again, causing the ninjas to lift the object higher up and back down onto their shoulders, increasing the pain Geoff was feeling from sitting at the top while he screamed. Each whistle blown came more quickly than the last, resulting in the visual of Geoff riding a triangular block that was bucking him. The other guys could not help but laugh at Geoff sudden misfortune before he was finally let down and having a sticker that read "_Matsuri_" placed on his back. He let out painful sighs while curled up in a ball on the ground.

* * *

><p>"One minute left," a deep voice announced, echoing throughout the island. "Releasing the last ninjas." A horn sound followed after the frightful message was made.<p>

"No way," Geoff moaned. "They're releasing more in the last minute?"

"I don't want any more," Lindsay cried.

Out of sheer luck, virtually all of the boys and all of the girls managed to somehow gather together in one spot. The only ones missing being Owen and Izzy, though that was the least of everyone else's concern. They were more worried about just how many more ninjas were coming after them in the last minute and what sort of punishment they were going to execute.

"Do you think we can outrun them?" Beth asked.

"This bites…" Duncan muttered.

"Here they came," Eva called out.

It seemed that all of the campers felt helpless in this one moment as what appeared to be an army of ninjas came running into view. None of the contestants moved, seemingly resigned to their fate. Until the ninjas ran past them without any sort of hesitation. Curiously, the teenagers watched as the ninjas appeared to have run into a cave. Seconds later, a yell was heard followed by a series of grunts and groans. For all of the ninjas were carrying Owen out of the cave. Izzy followed behind, perched on the shoulders of the grizzly bear, just to watch out of pure interest.

It seemed like an unusual punishment as all of the ninjas proceeded to toss Owen into the air and catch him when he came down. They did this over and over and over again while Owen screamed both in fear of being so high off of the ground and with delight as the rush of exhilaration flowed through him. The ninjas finally dropped him onto the ground, more so from the fact that he was just getting far too heavy for them to hold up any longer, just as the final horn was sounded to end the challenge.

"Thank goodness!" Bridgette exhaled in relief.

"I don't ever wanna do anything like that ever again," Cody uttered, letting out a slight moan of discomfort.

"Man, I hate that challenge," Tyler grumbled, kicking the dirt on the ground in frustration.

"And to think, this is only the beginning of what's to come for the next two weeks," Alejandro noted in despair.

"Oh, I can't wait to see what they do next!" Sierra cheered with delight.

"Aww, I wanted to get body tossed, too," Izzy pouted. The grizzly bear merely grunted in bewilderment and shrugged.

"That was fun!" Owen declared through some giggling as he got to his feet. "Let's do that again!"

* * *

><p>Moments later, the campers arrived at the cabins. They were somewhat surprised to find that the platform from which the ninjas came from had disappeared all of a sudden, as though it had never been there in the first placed. They divided themselves into their respective teams before their host arrived to finally bring the challenge to a close.<p>

"Congratulations, boys and girls," Blaineley announced, clapping her hands with great subtlety. "You have just made it through your first challenge on the… _Return to Total Drama Island_!" Most of the campers groaned at hearing her sound so condescending. "Well, it seems quite obvious how this turned out. Izzy barely having any stickers at all, Owen received quite the plethora splashed all over his back in a short amount of time. Everyone else appear to have an equal amount of punishment all around. But in the end, it leaves me with little doubt that Team Cat, aka the girls, have won the day." A lot of the girls were too tired and exhausted to even let out a mock cheer. Izzy and Sierra, on the other hand, acted like they had been victorious over something grand. "As the winners, you girls will get to pick your cabin of choice and will be catered dinner later tonight courtesy of Rob Rossi. So which cabin will you take."

The girls took a moment to examine the two cabins before them. There was something about the former Killer Grips cabin that did not make them feel all that comfortable. Even though there was hardly any evidence on the outside that it had barely changed since they last saw it, they felt as though they should not chance it.

"We're taking the Screaming Gophers cabin," Sierra announced.

"Wise choice, girls," Blaineley said with a smirk. "That means the boys will be shacking up in the Killer Grips cabin. I should warn you boys that you'll be sharing your pad with a couple of stowaways that managed to come here with the chef cooking your dinner tonight."

Out of curiosity, the boys immediately went over to their cabin and opened the door. Though they probably should have expected it, theytill were nonetheless quite surprised that there were some roaches inside. Two bad roaches, rather. Two that were the size of humans and wearing bandanas on their heads. One was even holding a knife.

"Hey, you're on our turf, man!" the roach with the red bandana said, speaking with a grizzled Latin accent.

"Hey man, I cut you!" the roach with the green bandana stated, waving the knife it held at them and also speaking in a Latin accent. "I cut you up so bad, you… you gonna… you gonna wish I no cut you up so bad!"

"Dude, those are bad roaches," Geoff uttered after the boys quickly closed the door.

* * *

><p>It was evening at Camp Wawanakwa. A fancy dinner table was set up outside near the cabins and only the girls, being the winners of the day's challenge, were allowed to sit there. Even Eva had trouble containing some excitement as they all waited with great anticipation for their meal.<p>

"Ladies," their chef, Rob Rossi, announced as he appeared before them. "Since today was your first challenge, I decided to go with the first dish I cooked on _Top Chef Canada_, which just so happened to be the winning dish. It is seared BC halibut with butter poached lobster, crushed potatoes, creme fraiche and a tarragon foam." Most of the girls were in awe as their dishes were being placed before them. Rossi turned to Bridgette with a smile that could have melted her heart. "I understand you are a vegetarian, so I made you a dish that I designed when I was executive chef at Mercatto in Toronto. This is a tagliatelle with almond pesto, garnished with a peppery arugula." Bridgette gasped with joy as her dish was placed before her. "Enjoy, girls."

The girls wasted no time taking their first bite of their dishes. And it was majestic. They had never tasted anything so divine and delicious as what they were eating. They could not speak they were so overcome with wonder. And this was only the first bite. They all decided to savor their dishes, knowing full well that this would probably be the only time throughout the two week stay they will ever have anything as magnificent as what they were eating.

"O-M-G!" Sierra sang with a swoon. "I love this dish!"

"I could, like, totally die right now and be happy that I ate this," Lindsay stated with joy.

"Bridgette, you so gotta try the mushroom purée from our dish," Beth proclaimed, immediately getting a spoon and picking up just enough for Bridgette to taste. "It is really good."

"This is Heavenly!" Bridgette exhaled after tasting the purée. "And my own dish is absolutely fantastic, too."

"I would usually eat something like sloppy joe," Eva managed to utter, almost sheepishly. "But I gotta admit… I like this dish a lot."

"Now this is a meal!" Izzy declared proudly. "This is the kind of dish we should be eating everyday. Not the slop Chef Hatchet makes." The girls toasted their glasses in agreement before returning to the merriment of indulging in their dishes and just having a grand time in general.

In the main lodge, however, the atmosphere was far from joyful. The boys were being served their meal from the new resident chef. And it made them just as nervous as any dish from Chef Hatchet would. They were not even sure what the dish was supposed to be since the Mexican chef appeared to still be on a rampage in arguing with nothingness and seeing no point in even pausing. The boys used their forks to nervously picked at their dishes before finally deciding to take a bite. It was hardly a bite worth treasuring.

"This isn't even bland," Alejandro noted with disgust.

"I can't figure out the textures in this," Cody stated with bewilderment.

"Makes me crave for dog food," Tyler said, contorting his face to show just how much he disliked the food in his mouth.

"Maybe there's a way to make it better, bras," Geoff suggested before turning to the chef. "Hey, uh… Señor Duderino! You got any guacamole we could use?"

The chef paid absolutely no attention to Geoff. Nevertheless, he appeared to have whipped something up and threw it at the party dude, which smacked him on the forehead. As he had been doing since long before they first saw him, the chef was still arguing in Spanish, if it was Spanish he was speaking, to who knew who about who knew what. The boys looked over at the small hand-sized bowl that Geoff held and were even more perplexed than ever.

"Since when has guacamole ever been purple?" Duncan asked.

Back outside, past the girls who were still in enjoying their dinner with great wonderment, Blaineley sat near the dock with her own plate of the meal the girls were served. As she ate, Josh was going over a series of notes and papers with a pencil placed over his ear, his tongue sticking out to one side.

"The girls have taken the first win of the new series," Blaineley announced to the camera, gently wiping off a dab of sauce that was on the corner of her mouth with a napkin. "Will they be able to maintain the momentum? Or will the boys even things up? Who will be the first to be eliminated and spend the rest of their stay on Boney Island? Find out in the next… _Return to Total_… _Drama_… _Island_!"

* * *

><p><strong>Team Cat<strong>  
>Sierra - Captain<br>Beth  
>Bridgette<br>Eva  
>Izzy<br>Lindsay

**Team Snake**  
>Alejandro - Captain<br>Cody  
>Duncan<br>Geoff  
>Owen<br>Tyler

* * *

><p>So the idea is to show a contrast of how the cast, split in half, are enjoying their two week break from classes. As voted by you folks, <em>Total Drama Academy: Year One<em> will follow those who were fortunate enough to stay behind at Richmore Academy. And then there's the unfortunate half being forced to _Return to Total Drama Island_. Those staying at Richmore would be having a much more pleasurable experience while those back on Camp Wawanakwa will have anything but a good time. Furthermore, I wanted to establish Blaineley as being just as, if not more sadistic than Chris, largely in an effort to prove that she not only deserved to host the show, but also reap the same rewards Chris did. Let me know if you think I'm going a little too far and if whether or not it's a good thing.

I like the Mexican chef I sort of created on a whim in _Total Drama Action Redux_ and decided to carry him over into _Total Drama Academy_. I think it's fun for them to have to deal with a character, even if for only a brief moment, who they cannot understand in any way, shape or form. I originally intended Josh to fill the Chef Hatchet role in full, but now he doesn't have to cook the meals for the kids. The idea would have been that he would purposefully cook bad meals for them and good absolutely delicious meals for himself and Blaineley. But now that's obviously changed to him merely making a decent turkey sandwich for Blaineley.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** The Tournament of Pain


	2. Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon

**Return to Total Drama Island**

a _Total Drama Academy_ spin-off story

by Lord Akiyama

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> This is a spin-off story taking place within the same universe as _Total Drama Academy_. It occurs during the first break period in _Year One_.

Just remember that the story is created under the assumption that _Total Drama Action_ does not happen. Though I may consider throwing in elements that I like. Meaning this story should be considered alternate universe. Strange how that works, don't you think?

_Total Drama_ and its characters are copyright © of Fresh TV, Teletoon and Cartoon Network. This story was created purely out of sheer enjoyment so please don't sue. Or throw me off a thousand-foot high cliff into a shark-infested lake. That would so smarts.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

**Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon**

_(Narrated by Blaineley)_

Previously on Return to Total Drama Island…

Instead of spending their two week break from class doing who knows what in who knows where, ten of your favorite Total Drama alumni were kind enough to volunteer their services, albeit forcibly, to join newcomers Alejandro and Sierra to come back to Camp Wawanakwa. While many would rather be lazy bums instead of working out their stiff joints, greed got the best of them upon learning of a $500,000 reward to the sole survivor of the trip this time around. But it will not be as forgiving as before because I, Blaineley O'Halloran, will be running the show. And I've got a few tricks or two up my sleeve to show that smug bastard Chris McLean how to really stir up the drama.

To ensure we will be getting the most out of our venture, the kiddies learned to their horror that the eliminated will not be sent to Playa Des Losers. Too luxurious and I've since converted it into my own personal vacation home while we're here. No, they will instead be hauled off to a cabin some idiot built on Boney Island. This way the little freaks won't intentionally throw challenges in an attempt to go to some place they would enjoy. Still, not everything went as planned as their whining and complaining forced me to change my well thought out team names into the boring titles of Team Cat for the girls and Team Snake for the boys.

Their first challenge back was the thrill of the chase as they ran for their lives to avoid receiving punishment from some ninjas I've employed. While the surfer girl managed to encounter a particular ninja whose punishment was rather kind, the rest were more harsh than the last. Just ask the Latin heartthrob how his manhood is feeling. In the end, Izzy managed to elude capture by hanging out with the bear while Owen's inability to be any faster than an ant allowed for Team Cat to win themselves a wondrous dining experience while Team Snake got their first taste of the cooking from new chef Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca.

There is no rest for the weary. We have yet to throw down some real drama up in this house. So sit back, relax, and enjoy as we...

RETURN TO TOTAL…

DRAMA…

ISLAND!

_(cue Theme Song, with an opening that parodies that from Game of Thrones)_

* * *

><p>The sun was rising in the east. Light began to shine upon the lush green landscape that was Camp Wawanakwa. The birds were singing their songs in the tress as the crickets did the same in the grass. A chipmunk emerged from its home to begin its busy day of harvesting food in preparation for its long hibernation. Winter was coming.<p>

_BOOM!_

And explosion, like that of cannon fire, was suddenly heard. Disrupting the peace that had momentarily lasted. The source of the sound came from the Team Snake cabin. Furthermore, it seemed as though the door to the eastern end had been blown clean off its hinges and flew out onto the ground. Puffs of smoking emerged freely from the opening. Against their better judgment, the boys curiously peeked out from behind the door to the western end in the hopes of seeing what it was that was happening to their cabin. The five of them looked nervously, cautiously readying themselves in case they needed to break into a run at any moment. Only then did they suddenly realize that they were five when there was supposed to be six. Someone was missing.

"Uh, guys…" Cody managed to utter. "Where's Owen?" Those simple words, and a good look at the damage that had been done was more than enough for one other to widen his eyes in horror.

"Dear God, don't tell me that was them…" Duncan muttered with a slight squirm. The tone of his voice was a mixture of terror and anger.

Sure enough, what he feared seemed to come to fruition. Seconds later, a grinning redhead emerged from the doorless eastern end of the cabin, letting out a light giggle. Hair that was extremely messed up and frizzy, black charred marks on her skin, smoke coming off of her body. The only thing that seemed to be missing was the torn marks on her clothes. That was because she was not wearing any clothes. Though she seemed decent enough to at least hold a towel over herself, it was not a long one.

"Ah-ah, no peeking," Izzy teased, waving a finger at them. She then skipped over to pick up the door with a free hand. As she was repairing the damage made, the boys realized something that was not necessarily pleasing. While she was holding a towel to cover herself, it only did so at the front. Her whole backside was exposed. Which was a lot more than they were willing to see as they all quickly looked away, some turning pink in the cheeks. With the door fixed, Izzy slipped back inside with another giggle. A second later, she suddenly peeked back out, pulling down one of her bottom eye lids with a pinky finger and blowing a raspberry at them, before disappearing back inside.

There was a moment of silence that followed. The five boys staring in the direction of the supposedly fixed door on the eastern end of the cabin. Not a single soul was flinching any muscle in their body before some one finally let out a heavy sigh and began walking away.

"Excuse me while I go find a toilet to vomit in," Duncan grumbled as he went.

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Duncan - /_Wipes face and groans._/ "Even in this dump! Even here those two can't bother to keep their hormones in check for the sake of everyone else's sanity." /_Exhales gas and beats chest._/ "Man, this sucks…"

Geoff - "Dude, Owen and Izzy doing it is getting wilder and wilder, bra. I mean, they blew open the door. Next thing you'll know, they'll blow up their part of the building." /_Rubs chin, deep in thought._/ "I wonder if my Schmoopy-Schmoo and I have it in us to do that…"

Alejandro - "So who on my team will be the first to go? Duncan or Owen? Owen is a slob and I certainly don't want to endure his crap through as much of the two weeks as I am willing to take. Even if the whole point is for me and Sierra to suffer horribly, there is a line to be drawn here. Duncan is a clear threat. He will have no problem doing whatever needs to be done to be the last one standing. Rather similar to me, obviously, but just not as refined. Although Owen has proven that you should never judge a book by its cover. Choices, choices…"

* * *

><p>Some time later, all twelve campers gathered in the main lodge for breakfast. With the exception of Owen, the boys appeared rather gloomy. Not only were they likely not going to be able to get a good night's sleep ever again, but they were once again being forced to endure the cooking of the new chef. And he was still arguing to no one in particular. Owen, on the other hand, appeared quite refreshed and excited to be eating. As had been the case with Chef, the hefty boy seemed mostly immune to just how disgusting the food cooked up by Ricardo Balbone Montez de la Vasquez Asa Loca really was.<p>

"Oh boy, I'm so hungry!" Owen gleefully giggled. "I could eat two horses! And I've never tried horse meat before. Do you think we might have some one of these days?" He appeared oblivious to the glares he was receiving from most of the girls, Bridgette in particular. Rather he was more interested in waiting for Ricardo to deliver his breakfast. The Mexican chef, never once ceasing to argue with apparent nothingness, threw an intriguing plate of brown slop that none of the others had received thus far. When it twitched suddenly, many of those who had the misfortunate of looking curiously started to turn green. Owen, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted. "Woo-hoo! Special order! I can't wait to dig in!"

Things took an interesting turn when Izzy went up to retrieve her breakfast. As was becoming the norm, Ricardo was arguing aloud to no one in particular. Then suddenly, quite literally without warning, Izzy gasped and appeared shocked and offended. She then launched into an argument with the chef, having jumped onto the counter in a successful effort to get his attention. Yet the scene disturbed just about everyone else in the room. This was because she was speaking in absolute gibberish the whole time. Nowhere near English and seemingly not entirely Spanish as even Alejandro could not understand a word she was saying. All watched as the apparent argument that seemed to have happened between Izzy and Ricardo was getting more heated by the second. At one point, the chef even smacked the spatula in hand upon a surface fairly close to where Izzy stood. But just when it seemed that they were about ready to explode, she suddenly hopped off the counter and started laughing in a jolly manner.

"You're funny!" she declared before taking her breakfast and leaving.

Ricardo still had not stopped arguing, though it seemed that perhaps he was arguing to someone else all of a sudden. Most of the others watched with bewilderment, focusing their attention on Izzy as she sat down next to Owen and joined him in munching down on her meal. Either oblivious or intentionally ignoring the looks she was receiving.

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Lindsay - "I don't get it. Was Ivy mad at the chef because he had, like, a bug in her food or something? Because that would be so icky."

Eva - "Why don't I like being around crazy girl? Because there's no telling when she'll finally crack. And when she does, I don't wanna be anywhere near her during all the bloodshed she'll cause."

Sierra - "Wow! That was some serious W-T-F right there. It got so intense, I almost ran to my Codykins to protect me. And a handsome white knight he is. Remember that one episode where everyone went to Boney Island? He was the pillar of strength keeping everyone on the Screaming Gophers together." /_Sighs longingly._/ "I mean, sure he was crushing on Gwen at the time, but that's all in the past now. As far as I know, he hasn't set his eyes on anyone yet. And I would know because I've been watching his every move ever since we got here."

Cody - /_Shudders._/ "Ever have that feeling that you're being watched, but you don't know where they might be? Last night was the worst night I've ever had and I was never bothered like this the last time we were here."

* * *

><p>"Attention, campers!" a male voice announced. Everyone looked around for the source of the sound and spotted one of the many speakers that had been placed about the island. "You have five minutes to report to the clearing west of the cabins for today's challenge. I repeat, report to the clearing west of the cabins in five minutes."<p>

"Any one recognize that voice?" Duncan asked curiously. "Sounds vaguely familiar."

"I just can't seem to put my finger on it, bra," Geoff replied with a shrug.

"Maybe he's one of those guys that does those cheesy commercial voice overs," Tyler suggested.

"But it still doesn't ring a bell," Beth said, shaking her head.

"Probably another whack job picked off the street like that excuse for a chef over there," Eva noted, cocking her head in the direction of the kitchen.

* * *

><p>Arriving at the clearing, the twelve campers were in a state of awe. What was once an empty field had been transformed into an outdoor medieval arena that seemed to stretch out a hundred yards long. On one end at every five yards was a pole with a banner attached, each one alternating between the insignia for Team Snake and for Team Cat. In the middle was a one hundred yard wooden fence that was roughly high enough to be level with the chest line of the average female. On the opposite end was a grand structure. A wooded stage that was majestic in appearance, draped in some of the most beautiful pieces of silk, and possessed a throne painted in gold.<p>

"O-M-G, it's like we're in a time warp," Sierra squealed with excitement.

"Does that mean we get to ride cute little ponies?" Lindsay gasped with delight. "I love ponies!"

"Well, I guess it's safe to assume what today's challenge is gonna be," Alejandro noted aloud, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It is?" Owen asked in surprise. "What's it gonna be, Al?" A vein began to slowly emerge from Alejandro's temple while he resisted the urge to do something harmful to Owen.

A trumpet sounded, no doubt announcing that someone was about to appear. From behind a curtain on the stage came a black haired man clad in a blue velvet tunic with puffed sleeves and a silvery cape patterned with mockingbirds. He stood with great pride upon the center of the stage before clearing his throat to speak.

"Welcome, fair gentlefolk, to our festivities for the day," he proclaimed in a tone of voice that was highly regal. If the campers did not know any better, they figured him to be the one who had made the earlier announcement. "It will be here that you will all pay tribute to those who have bestowed upon you wondrous charity since your arrival."

"Yeah right," Duncan snorted, rolling his eyes in disbelief. "Who the hell are you supposed to be any way?"

"I am Ser Josh," the speaker announced. This was followed by absolute silence from the campers. Resulting in him dropping the regal tone for a moment. "Josh. You know, co-host of Celebrity Manhunt." The competitors merely looked back at him in bewilderment. "Oh, never mind." He cleared his throat again and returned to the regal tone. "And now allow me the honor of introducing her majesty, Blaineley o' Halloran!" He bowed slightly and stepped aside before waving his hand in the direction they were to look.

More trumpets sounded and their host emerged from behind the very same curtain the man named Josh came through. For a moment, the campers had to admit that they were utterly astound at what they saw. Blaineley stood before them wearing a gown of sea-green silk, trimmed with Myrish lace as pale as foam. On her finger was a golden ring containing an emerald the size of a pigeon's egg. She also wore a tiara on her head that matched with the ring. So elegant she was that it took everyone's breath away.

"Greetings, warriors of the realm," she said, speaking in a much more dignified regal tone than Josh. "You are gathered here today to prove your worth. Each one of you will be challenged in your ability to remain vigilant against insurmountable odds. This shall be achieved in a Jousting Tournament."

"Tell us something we don't know," Alejandro muttered sarcastically.

Blaineley stared at him for a moment before clapping her hands ever gently a couple times. Seconds later, Alejandro was struck in the back of his head very hard with a seemingly blunt object. After a brief period to let the pain subside, he turned to see that his attacker was a knight covered in silver armor from head to toe. The weapon of choice was, curiously, a rubber chicken. The knight then walked away without further incident.

"If I may continue without any further interruptions, Candy Apple," Blaineley stated in a mocking tone, tapping her right foot. Once the attention was focused back on her, she resumed her speaking. "For those of you who are intellectually challenged, jousting requires you to ride a horse, galloping as fast as possible, and strike your opponent with a lance in an attempt to unseat them."

"That doesn't sound very safe," Beth noted, shivering at how potentially dangerous this challenge would be.

"Not necessarily, no," Blaineley responded in agreement. "But the folks from the Toronto Medieval Times dinner theater are here to make sure it is, so you really should have nothing worry about." Hardly any of the campers believed her last statement. "Now then, Josh will be explaining the finer details of how this challenge will go."

"Thank you, m'lady," Josh said, bowing to her. He dropped his regal tone and went for the announcer voice the campers had heard earlier. "Today's Jousting Tournament will have the boys against the boys and the girls against the girls. The best from both will then compete in the finals to determine the ultimate winner. Each group will have three rounds prior to the finale. There's the group preliminary, the group semi-final, and the group final. The team captains automatically receive a bye into their group semi-final. Practice runs will determine who else within each group will receive a bye. In the practice runs, each member of a group minus their captain will face the captain of the opposing team, who in turn will determine the individual getting the bye. Yours truly will randomly draw up the tournament brackets. And now, back to Blaineley."

"The ultimate winner of the tournament will also allow for their fellow team to be safe from the first elimination tonight," Blaineley proclaimed. "So it is as much a team effort as it is an individual one. Though that individual winner will be rewarded with a cache of gender appropriate clothing from the medieval era as well as a $500 gift certificate to Amazon."

"My first Campfire Ceremony!" Sierra cheered. "I can't wait to actually experience it for real!" Blaineley looked at the purple-haired girl with an annoyed glare before gently clapping her hands twice. As was before, the full armored knight returned and whacked Sierra in the back of the head with a rubber chicken before taking off again.

"What did I just say about interruptions, Fanzilla?" Blaineley questioned firmly. When Sierra sheepishly looked away in silence, the host proceeded to continue. "Now then, let us get this show on the road. Alejandro will be up first for a practice run against Beth, Bridgette, Eva, Izzy, and Lindsay. You each get only one shot for now, so it won't really matter if you unseat him or not. That's for him to decide since he's going to pick which one of you gets the bye. You will all be getting a one-hour crash course in jousting before we start. Josh, if you will please."

"As you wish, your grace," Josh responded with a bow. He cleared his throat and returned to the announcer tone. "Let the games begin!"

* * *

><p>A little over an hour later, Alejandro and Beth were getting themselves into position for their practice run. Both had mounted their steeds and were dressed in steel armor, gripping a wooden lance in one hand and a shield in the other. Meanwhile, Blaineley was making herself quite comfortable on the throne. She held a golden goblet in hand that would occasionally be refilled with wine by an intern. The five male alumni were seated in various chairs that had been placed to the side of the stage with Sierra having joined them. Because of this, Cody made perfectly sure to be out of her line of sight be sitting next to Owen.<p>

"Alejandro vs. Beth practice run," Josh announced. "On my mark. And… go!"

Both contestants kicked their horses into galloping at full speed. Beth nervously got herself ready for when they crossed paths. She leaned forward, held the lance out, brought the shield over her chest, and closed her eyes. Just waiting for the inevitable to happen was heart-pounding. And then…

_BAM!_

Beth managed to open her eyes just as her lance connected with Alejandro's shield. The front end of her weapon shattered on contact, though it left an unmistakable imprint upon the steel shield. Nevertheless, Alejandro was not unseated. What struck her curious, though, was that he did not bother to hold his lance out against her. As if he intentionally did not make an attempt to strike. She found that rather peculiar.

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Alejandro - "Like I'm going to unseat those fine ladies in a practice run. No, I wouldn't even dream of harming a single hair of theirs. It's more fun when you can gain their trust by being a gentleman. That way, they won't think twice about me using them as my little pawns in claiming that $500,000. It doesn't hurt that I look handsome enough to give Justin a run for his money."

* * *

><p>Bridgette was next. She deplored the idea of having to compete in such a violent sport and really did not want to participate. But she was fairly certain that nothing good would come out of defiance and therefore competed against her better wish. As her horse galloped at full speed, she positioned herself and prepared to strike. Suddenly, she saw something that completely threw her off guard. The way the sun illuminated Alejandro, coupled with the most amazing looking smile she had ever seen, made her lose focus for a brief moment. As a result, her lance barely grazed his shield. She was also oblivious to the fact that her cheeks were lightly turning pink. However, it seemed that there were those who took notice.<p>

"Dude, did you see what I just saw?" Geoff asked Duncan. He appeared quite appalled, but wanted to make sure his eyes were not playing tricks on him.

"If you saw Lover Boy just flirt with your chick, then yeah, I saw it too," Duncan replied in a rather nonchalant manner.

"That's not cool, man!" Geoff huffed in anger. "He better not try that again or I'll be shoving one of those lance things up his rear end, bra!"

Having overheard the conversation, Tyler sat nervously. He was quite sure that Alejandro would be making a move on his girl Lindsay. And knowing her, chances were good that she would be easily swayed by the Latin hunk's charms. He glanced over at Owen to see that the hefty boy was rather oblivious to what was going on outside of the actual jousting. Though it made Tyler curious to see if Izzy would fall for Alejandro's flirtations.

* * *

><p>It was Eva's turn. She focused herself upon the objective of unseating Alejandro in her one practice run. Kicking the horse rather hard, forcing the stallion to gallop at full speed almost from the start. She positioned herself, held the lance in place, and prepared to strike. It was only when she had a clear view of his face that something unexpected happened. He winked at her. This took her completely by surprise, resulting in her losing focus. Her lance just managed to connect with a top corner of his shield, but it was hardly enough to knock him off. To say Eva was livid that she did not accomplish what she had set out to do would be an understatement.<p>

"He just did it again," Tyler said, nearly crying out in frustration. "What is up with this guy, any way? Trying to hit on all the girls."

"In the middle of competition, no less," Cody added following a curious thought. "It's almost like we got another Justin on our hands."

"Justin was all look and no action," Duncan stated, crossing his arms over his chest. "This guy may actually be a lot worse. Almost like we're dealing with a Male Heather." The other guys began to shudder at the thought.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hear me roar!<em>" Izzy cried. She dropped her visor and kicked her horse into galloping at full speed within seconds.

Alejandro was still in the middle of planning how exactly to throw Izzy off guard when the roles were suddenly reversed. He watched in stunned belief as she did a single handstand on the saddle. She then twirled and stood on one tip toe on the top of her horse's head. And before he knew it, she was doing a pair of back flips before finally taking the lance and whacking him in the back, unseating him in the process. Owen was cheering wildly at his girlfriend's apparent victory over her opponent.

"_Unbowed, unbent, unbroken!_" she proclaimed, holding her unscathed lance up high above her head.

"Eso dolió…" Alejandro groaned once he managed to spit chunks dirt out of his mouth.

"Need I remind you, Izzy, that you are supposed to strike your opponent in the front, not the back," Blaineley noted with a brow raised. She was, however, not too bothered to cease drinking her wine.

"Guess we don't have to worry about the Homewrecker charming crazy girl any time soon," Duncan noted with an amused smirk forming on his face.

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Izzy - /_Wears a stethoscope around neck and a reflector on head._/ "It just so happens that I, Omar Knorr, M.D., am the next-to-worst doctor in America. This is no mere value judgement. There's concrete proof. To wit: I graduated four hundred and sixth in a class of four hundred and seven. From the lowest-ranked medical school in the United States still in operation: the Hoboken College for Medicine and Culinary Arts. And while I may not be the worst doctor in America, I'm still pretty bad. For one thing, I tend to faint at the sight of blood. A lot of times I forget which medicines do what. Heck, I don't even know what a spleen is. One time, in my surgical rotation, I accidentally left a piece of cheese in a guy's abdomen. No lie. There was a big lawsuit and everything." /_Reveals a scalpel in hand and places a rubber chicken on lap._/ "But whenever I start to feel down about myself, I remember good ol' number 407, Stenny Kemp. God, what a loser that guy turned out to be!" /_Giggles and beings cutting into rubber chicken._/

* * *

><p>"Such a good horsey," Lindsay cooed, stroking the stallion's mane without a care in the world. "Nice horsey."<p>

It seemed that she had been doing this for quite a long while as Blaineley was getting bored with the lack of action taking place. Upon gently clapping her hands twice, the host had summoned the armored knight to reappear. But instead of whacking Lindsay over the head, he whacked the horse's behind. Letting out a painful cry, the horse galloped at full speed in an instant with Lindsay screaming at the sudden change in pace. Not really thinking at all, she gripped the lance, thinking it would help steady her. No such luck. She was, however, unaware of how fortunate she was really about to become. The motion of the horse had caused her to slightly bounce in place. More than enough to distract Alejandro, who did not notice that her lance had struck him rather hard and unseated him instantly.

"That's my babe!" Tyler cheered. Not only was he proud of Lindsay for achieving some sort of victory, but he was also quite thrilled to see Alejandro not succeed in charming her. "She brought dinner to the table and ate it!"

"I did?" Lindsay uttered upon hearing her boyfriend. Seeing him as excited as he was made her happy. "Yay! I won!" She started to bounce in place, unaware of how it was resulting in many of the males to wander their eyes. This included Tyler, who froze in the middle of his cheering, mouth gapped open like an idiot, and stare with drool slowly dribbling out over his chin.

"If we can move things along, I would be most appreciative," Blaineley announcing, sounding quite firm and annoyed. She even let out a yawn in a display of boredom. As she was speaking, the other girls who had just completed their practice run were now making their way toward the stage to replace the boys, who in turn would be leaving. "Now then, I believe it is time for the boys to get their practice run against Sierra."

"Oh, excuse me, Blaineley?" Sierra asked, raising her hand as she stood in attention. "I was thinking that since I already know who I'm going to choose to have the bye we could forego with the practice run."

"Oh gee, I wonder who you could possible have picked already," Duncan muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Really?" Owen questioned in shocked curiosity. "Wow. That was quick. She must know which of us is good and stuff." The hefty boy was oblivious to the looks he was getting from the others.

"You do realize that we're giving you freaks this one opportunity to get the finer points of jousting before we actually proceed with the tournament, right?" Blaineley noted with a brow raised. "Not to mention that this is an elimination challenge and you should therefore think very carefully about whether the choice you make will be to the advantage of your team."

"But when you compare all of the boys and their abilities and traits and everything, Cody would be at a disadvantage if he did not get an opportunity to show what he is capable of," Sierra explained. She was apparently not aware of how what she said made absolutely no sense to everyone else. Even Izzy looked perplexed.

"If you ask me, the best way to show what Cody is capable of would be for you to move your butt over the to stables, mount a horse, and joust against him," Blaineley stated rather sternly.

"Me fight Cody?" Sierra gasped in horror. She was nearly on the verge of tears, even going so far as to let out a high-pitched whine, before suddenly grabbing Cody when he least expected it, and pulling him straight into embrace. Unaware that she had just shoved his face right into her chest. Something he was not particularly fond of being in, given how pink his cheeks quickly turned. "How could you suggest such an awful thing? I would never, ever in a million years dare harm my Cody-Wody."

"You wouldn't dare?" Beth questioned, flushing with frustration as she marched over to the purple-haired girl. "You're harming him right now."

"What makes you say that?" Sierra asked, utterly oblivious to the obvious. Particularly with Cody's face starting to turn blue.

"Well, it appears there is no use in trying to change her mind," Josh announced suddenly. "So it will be that Cody will receiving a bye into the Team Snake semi-final." Sierra squealed with joy, unconsciously squeezing Cody even harder into her chest, while the other boys began to complain over this sudden development. Beth was unhappy for a completely different reason.

"Let go of Cody!" she cried, managing to pull him out and away from Sierra before he suffocated. "You nearly choked him to death." She was just about to look over Cody when she suddenly felt a strong grip upon her shoulder and then being twirled around to face an enraged Sierra.

"How dare you pull my Cody-Bunny away like that!" the purple-haired girl raged. "I would never thought that you, of all people, would be such a meanie!"

"It's one thing to be his fan, but you're scaring him!" Beth yelled back in retort. "He's so afraid of you because of how obsessive you are of him!"

"So I'm not allowed to like Cody?" Sierra questioned in aghast. "You really are a meanie! No better than Heather!"

"Oh, that does it!" Beth screamed.

But just as she was about to leap onto Sierra with her fists flying, she was caught and pulled back by Eva and Lindsay. Bridgette and Izzy were doing the same to Sierra. Trying with all of their might to keep the argument from descending into a full on fight. The boys were watching, some in horror while others in amusement. None paid any attention to Blaineley and Josh winking to one another of a job well done in creating some serious drama. Once an acceptable amount of time had passed, the host gently clapped her hands twice. The armored knight popped up from nowhere in particular, each hand in possession of a rubber chicken. The knight whacked both Beth and Sierra extremely hard over their heads and then ducked down to disappear completely. All of the campers had came to a complete stop and looked over to Blaineley.

"If you are still insistent on not jousting with Cody, then we will not force you to," the host proclaimed as she held out her goblet for the intern to refill it with wine. "However, you will be receiving a penalty for your insubordination. Not to mention the whole purpose is to run you through the gauntlet of pain and suffering as much as possible and this seems like an ideal opportunity to do so. I believe the other boys are itching to get some practice in before we start the tournament." She let out an amusing laugh before she started drinking from the wine again. Her demeanor made the others, Sierra in particular, very uncomfortable.

* * *

><p>"Isn't this going a little too far?" Sierra questioned with great concern and worry.<p>

"At least you're not being deprived of armor," Blaineley responded with an amusing smirk on her face. "And you still have a lance and a shield."

Sierra found herself not on a horse, but tied up from shoulder to ankle and dangling in mid-air like a piñata. In fact, she turned out to essentially be a piñata as Duncan came toward her with his horse galloping at full speed. Soon enough, his lance connected. She swung about as a result of the impact before she started to settle. Her lance was quite useless when she was unable to move her arm to even tilt it in either direction. And while her opponents connected against her shield, she could sense it starting to loosen, no doubt it would fall if it took one too many good hits. It was not long before Geoff came riding through and sent her swinging in place with a solid hit on her shield.

Tyler was next. Unfortunately, his ride was hardly a smooth one as he was constantly being bucked from one end of the horse to another. Sure enough, just as he was within striking distance of Sierra, the horse came to a full stop and bucked him so hard that he flew right off of the animal and went sailing past the purple-haired girl before crashing hard into the ground. Owen did not fair any better as the horse outright refused to allow the hefty boy to even mount him and started galloping for its life. Owen spent more time running after the horse as a result.

But Sierra's punishment was apparently not over. It was just then that a familiar grizzly bear came charging at her, seemingly riding on a horse and holding a lance that eventually connected. If that were not enough, the creature known as Sasquatchanakwa followed. Then came a raccoon along with a duck. Finally, a woolly beaver. By this point, she had been screaming so often that she was on the verge of losing her voice. Not to mention she was getting dizzy from all of the swinging she had been doing following each hit. Nevertheless, it seemed that she managed to take her punishment in stride.

"Kinda harsh, don't you think?" Geoff wondered aloud, scratching a part of his head underneath his hat.

"She got what she deserved," Beth responded with a huff, crossing her arms and holding her nose up high.

Cody, meanwhile, had managed to find a little corner behind the stage so no one could see him being curled up into a ball and sucking his thumb while he occasionally shuddered.

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Lindsay - "That was, like, so scary. The way Belinda got really mad at Samantha like that. It was like she was dealing with Heather all over again. And she doesn't like Heather, so Sandy must have really said something to make her go off on her like that."

Sierra - /_Cuddling pocket-size Cody doll, sniffling._/ "That… that meanie! She doesn't want me to be anywhere near my Sugar-Frosted Codeo. It's as if she's jealous or something." /_Becomes determined, pets doll._/ "But don't worry, my little Coco. She can't keep me away from you forever. You'll see, she'll see, they'll see. I've been dreaming about you every night since I first saw you and soon we'll finally be together. Just you and me forever."

Beth - "Okay, so I lost control of my senses. But that girl has some serious boundary issues. She's so blinded by her interest in Cody that she doesn't really how much she is hurting him. And she gets angry when I save him from suffocating? As Gwen would say about Heather, what is her damage?"

* * *

><p>"It is now time for the Jousting Tournament to start," Josh stated in his announcing tone. "In the Team Snake bracket, the preliminary round will feature Owen against Tyler and Duncan against Geoff. Alejandro and Cody having each received a bye into their group semi-final. In the Team Cat bracket, the preliminary round will feature Beth against Lindsay and Eva against Izzy. Sierra and Bridgette having each received a bye into their group semi-final."<p>

"Enough with the pageantry!" Blaineley declared, becoming slightly tipsy from the wine she had been drinking. "Hurry up and knock each other about so we can boot someone to Boney Island!"

"You heard her grace," Josh said in a demanding voice. "Let the tournament begin!"

* * *

><p>The first match pitted Owen against Tyler. It was very much a farce from the get go as the horse still refused to allow Owen to get so much as a foot near it. While waiting as patiently as possible on his horse, Tyler was sudden being bucked about before finally being sent flying backwards into a nearby tree. Blaineley and Josh looked at one another, not entirely sure how they were going to make this work. They ultimately decided to name Tyler the winner by default since he actually managed to be seated on his horse. Owen was too exhausted from chasing after his horse to let the bad news register in his mind.<p>

The next match was Beth against Lindsay. Again, Beth relied on luck as she positioned herself to strike only to shut her eyes close just as the point of impact was about to occur. Lindsay, as before, was having trouble maintaining her balance on a horse that was galloping at full speed, causing her to bounce with wandering male eyes looking. Before long, there was a loading banging sound. Beth opened her eyes to find that she was still mounted. She then looked behind her and saw Lindsay dangling from one side of the horse, having been knocked over from the impact of Beth's lance connecting with her shield. Since it was a clear indication that Lindsay had been unseated, Beth would be declared the winner. Though most of the males seemed more interested in seeing how Lindsay bounced while she was upside down.

Duncan against Geoff followed. This was one of the two preliminary matches that held the promise of actually being good. The two boys were determined to unseat the other and advance into the next round. They charged at one another, their horses galloping at full speed. The two positioning themselves in preparation to both strike and to take such from their opponent. All watched with great anticipation until two bangs were heard. Both lances had connected with their targets. But it was Duncan who appeared to have had the more powerful force as Geoff found himself tumbling off of his horse and onto the ground. Everyone cheered as Duncan rode victoriously.

"_Ours is the fury!_" Izzy cried as she prepared to engage her opponent.

The final preliminary match saw Eva against Izzy. Given that Eva was a powerful force unto herself and Izzy was a whirlwind of destruction, all ever quite interested to see who would be successful over the other. They charged at each other with their horses galloping at full speed. Eva was as determined as ever to be victorious. She was in position when something rather unexpected happen. Just before they had reached within striking range, Izzy reared back and then lunged forward with her lance, connecting hard against Eva's shield before she know it. Seconds later, she was rolling on the ground, having been unseated. Izzy had won as the others cheered her on.

* * *

><p>"We now proceed into the group semi-final round," Josh announced after clearing his throat. "For Team Snake, it will be Cody against Duncan and Alejandro against Tyler. For Team Cat, it will be Beth against Izzy and Bridgette against Sierra. Continue forth with the tournament!"<p>

* * *

><p>The first match of the round saw Bridgette against Sierra. The others were rather curious to see how this one would fair. They kicked their horses into galloping at full speed and charged at one another. Both were in position and braced themselves for impact. After a loud bang, the two girls began to wobble. It would be Bridgette who fell first, tumbling to the ground just seconds before Sierra did the same. As a result, Sierra would be declared the winner, much to Geoff's sorrow. Sierra was looking out for Cody, but found that he was in the stables like the other competitors who were standing by for their match.<p>

Cody did not have to wait long as he was next against Duncan. Cody nervously swallowed and proceeded to charge at the delinquent. He did everything he could to both be in position to strike and to brace himself for receiving such himself. But it was not enough as he was easily unseated by the punk. Sierra shrieked in horror as she watched the techno geek literally fly off his horse and hitting the ground hard on his bottom. Then she noticed that Beth had gasped at the same time as she cried. The two girls glared at one another before quickly turning away.

"_Our blades are sharp!_" Izzy proclaimed before charging.

It was her against Beth that followed. Once again, Beth nervously positioned herself for the incoming contact. Closing her eyes, she hoped that luck would still be on her side. But it was to no avail as she felt herself being unseated as soon as Izzy's lance connected with her shield. Beth let out a scream that was not so much a scream, but possibly a cry as she landed on the ground with a light thud. Then she pouted had having lost before she could be matched up against Sierra, the opponent she really wanted to face the most.

The last match of the round found Alejandro taking on Tyler. Tyler was indeed very nervous going in, given how his efforts at jousting have faired thus far. It did not help that Alejandro looked quite confident. The two kicked their horses into full gallop and charged at one another. Moments later, however, Tyler's horse came to a full stop and bucked him so hard that he shot straight up into the air. Alejandro slowed his horse to a trot, watching Tyler curiously. It was not until the final second that he suddenly realized that Tyler was coming down toward him. Soon enough, the jock had crashed into the newcomer and both men were then found lying on the ground in a heap. For the second time, Blaineley and Josh consulted with one another to decide what the end result should be.

"Clearly both of you were unseated," Blaineley began to announce. "But the point is to be the one responsible for unseating your opponent, not through other means. Tyler may have been unseated first, yet it was he unseated Alejandro while he himself was merely unseated by his horse. Therefore, Tyler is the winner."

Alejandro wanted to be aghast with frustration, but was in too much pain to properly react. The same with Tyler, who wanted to cheer, but the pain would not allow him to. Nevertheless, a lot of the other campers, Lindsay in particular, were cheering for Tyler as he was able to pull what was clearly an upset victory.

* * *

><p>"<em>Here we stand!<em>" Izzy cried, not allowing Josh to announce the group final round matches.

Furthermore, she wasted no time in kicking her horse into a full-speed gallop, which caused Sierra to react badly by returning the charge before she was ready. Izzy did nothing too fancy, but she did shift her upper torso to purposefully avoid making contact with Sierra's lance while at the exact same time she managed to thrust her lance from behind her back. The impact smashing against her shield caused Sierra to fly backward and tumbled on the ground. So it was that Izzy would be the Team Cat representative in the final round.

Her opponent would be determined in a match between Duncan and Tyler. Tyler continued to display nervousness as he had been bucked off his horse time and time again. Luck was clearly going to run out at some point. Duncan appeared quite determined, knowing that he could not let his guard down, particularly after how Alejandro faired against Tyler. It was not long before the two were charging at one another. For a change, his horse was no longer trying to buck Tyler off. It made him quite happy, though it was enough to distract him from the fact that he was supposed to be jousting. Without warning, he felt the impact of Duncan connecting his lance against his shield and he want flying off as though he had been bucked. Duncan was moving on to face Izzy in the final round.

* * *

><p>"It is time for the finale of our grand Jousting Tournament," Josh announced. "The champion of Team Snake is Duncan. The champion of Team Cat is Izzy. The winner shall be rewarded and the the team they represent will be safe from the first elimination tonight. Let the end commence!"<p>

Trumpets sounded, playing a short melody to match the excitement that was in the air. All of the other campers where now sitting in front of the stage, watching anxiously to see the end result of the day. Blaineley was proceeding with another round of wine, surely at the point of being drunk by now.

Duncan and Izzy looked across at one another. Both beaming with confidence and determination. They stared, as though trying to dare the other to charge first. Instead, after a brief moment, they kicked their horses at the same time and were galloping at full-speed toward one another. They were both in position to strike and receive, focusing all of their might and attention to the point when impact was eminent. Then something unexpected happened.

"_We do not sow!_" Izzy declared.

"What?" Duncan uttered, baffled and perplexed by the strange battle cry she had sounded.

Unfortunately for him, it was more than enough to throw him off guard for just a split moment. It left him unprepared as her lance made impact with his shield and he was unseated before he knew it. Tumbling onto the ground, he was still bewildered by what had just happened. The boys groaned with disbelief as their champion had failed. The girls cheered with delight that none of them would be going to Boney Island tonight. Izzy stood proudly upon the head of her trotting horse, bowing every few seconds to the stage.

"Congratulations, Izzy!" Blaineley stated, sounding a little tipsy as she spoke. Yet even in her drunken state, she still managed to speak coherently. "You are the champion of the Jousting Tournament. As promised, you will be receiving a set of clothing made from the finest fabrics from the olden days as well as a $500 gift card to Amazon. Furthermore, Team Cat will be safe from elimination."

"This bites…" Duncan muttered from the heap he was in on the ground.

"What a downer, bra," Geoff noted with a sigh.

"However, I would like to make one final announcement," Blaineley stated suddenly, grabbing the attention of everyone. "The key to victory is perhaps skill and judgement. To have the abilities to overcome great adversity is one thing. But it is another if you do not have the mind for doing what is absolutely necessary to survive. Which is why the voting process this time around will not be the same as the last. It will be Team Cat who will decide who shall be eliminated and going to Boney Island tonight."

"_What?_" all of the campers cried together, shocked and stunned by what they had just heard.

"That can't be fair," Alejandro objected. "Under a voting process like that, each team will definitely be looking to weaken the opposition, taking away their best chance at winning a challenge."

"What's it to you, Fabulandro," Blaineley responded, still in her tipsy state. "You and Ms. Crazy Town are immune from elimination during the first half. No, the way I see it, you people really need to be more brains than brawn if you want to claim the $500,000. To be at the top of the mountain, you must be willing to make sacrifices. It is both dog eat dog and working together for the common good. Being a team one minute and then throwing them under the bus the next. In the end, you must do whatever it takes to achieve victory." She stood up and towered over the campers below the stage. There was something about her demeanor that made them feel very uncomfortable. "When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Bridgette - "I never thought I'd see the day that someone would be more vile than Chris. It's like she wants us to tear each other apart and that our having a little fun would be offensive to her."

Cody - "This can't be any good. The girls get to decide which of the guys to boot off the island while we would get to do the same if we win a challenge. There's no question everyone will be gunning after those perceived to be the best players in the game."

Alejandro - "You know, this just might work to my advantage. All I have to do is convince the girls to eliminate my competition. And if we win a challenge, it won't be hard to get the guys to pick off any of the girls who pose a greater threat to my success. I like it."

* * *

><p>The sun had set in the west and night overtook the skies above. The campfire was burning hot as the elimination ceremony was about to take place. The six boys sat on the tree stumps that acted as their chairs. Only Alejandro was calm and cool, knowing full well that he was immune from elimination for now. Most of the others were quite anxious to see what fate awaited them. Moments later, Blaineley appeared before them, once again wearing the one piece red dress she had arrived in the day before. She placed a plate containing five marshmallow pieces onto a barrel.<p>

"I'll make this very short," she announced, sounding more sober than she had been earlier. "You receive a marshmallow, than you are safe. No marshmallow, and it's off to Boney Island." She picked up marshmallow piece and proceeded to hand each one out to a contestant who was safe. "Alejandro. Tyler. Geoff. Cody." She then picked up the last marshmallow piece and paused, watching the expressions of the two boys whose names had yet to be called. Owen was shuddering with worry while Duncan merely frowned. "And the final marshmallow goes to…"

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"Owen."

The boys gasped with surprise. Owen had conveniently dropped his mouth open, allowing for the last marshmallow to be tossed inside. While the change in the voting process allowed for something like this to happen, it was still shocking that it would be done. None of them expected Duncan to be going first.

"I… don't know what to say…" the punk managed to utter with disbelief.

"Then don't say anything at all," Blaineley stated before gently clapping he hands twice. Two figures, looking very similar to Mr. Black back at Richmore Academy, approached Duncan from behind and roughly lifted him off his seat. "Oh, and I have something else I should mention. Something happened to the Lake Wawanakwa in-between the last time you freaks were here and now. It has since been cleaned up to make it safe for swimming, but there was a rather nasty side-effect that resulted. So nasty, in fact, that no one is willing to drive a boat out here. Which means we had to come up with a different way to send you lot to Boney Island."

The two figures proceeded to drag Duncan away from the campfire pit toward the Dock of Shame. There, Duncan saw what appeared to be a gigantic wooden catapult waiting at the end of the pier. He was then tossed into the device, his belongings being dumped on top of him shortly afterward. He had just managed to dig his head out in an attempt to say something only to witness Blaineley pull the lever and send him flying off of Camp Wawanakwa. He let out quite a yell before finally crashing into the water within a short distance from Boney Island.

"And there you have it," Blaineley announced to the camera. "Duncan has become the first victim eliminated from the new competition as well as the first to try out the all new Hurl of Shame. And perhaps the most shocking to have happened so far. There is still plenty of drama to be had. Will Team Snake be able to regroup? Should Team Cat develop some sort of strategy knowing a loss will likely mean the elimination of their best players first? How will Duncan cope with having to be alone on Boney Island tonight? These questions and more may be answered next time when we… _Return to Total… Drama… Island_!"

* * *

><p><strong>(Outhouse Confessional)<strong>

Beth - "Well, don't like it as much as anyone else, but since we get to pick who from Team Snake is going, I guess I have the right to vote of Duncan."

Bridgette - "I know my Schmoopy-Boo is good friends with him, but I could never really stand Duncan. I'd rather not be around him any longer than I have to."

Eva - "Of course I'm picking Duncan. He's the strongest player we can actually vote off. Just like they'll probably be gunning for me should they win a challenge."

Izzy - "Distrusting Duncan was the wisest thing I've done since first arrived at Camp Wawanakwa."

Lindsay - "Darren is a meanie. I don't like when meanies are around. They make me feel really uncomfortable and stuff."

Sierra - "Since we can't eliminate Alejandro, we might as well eliminate Duncan. He's very crafty, knowing how he played the game last time. This is the best chance I have seeing him leave sooner than later."

* * *

><p>Beth - Duncan<p>

Bridgette - Duncan

Eva - Duncan

Izzy - Duncan

Lindsay - Duncan

Sierra - Duncan

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Duncan - 6

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Voted Off - Duncan

* * *

><p>I don't know if you noticed, but I completely changed what I had originally planned for this chapter to be. That is because a recent episode of The Simpsons did an opening that had me wanting to see the same done to <em>Total Drama<em>. They did a parody to the opening title sequence of _Game of Thrones_, one of the two best television shows airing right now. I can imagine how fun it would be to do that opening for _Total Drama_. If you've never seen _Game of Thrones_, go out of your way to pick up the first season set. The series is on HBO, so it is extremely graphic. Nevertheless, it is absolutely brilliant. Wonderfully crafted storytelling and character rich in depth. You should also read the fantasy book series it is based on, _A Song of Ice and Fire_ by George RR Martin. And you just know I would not pass up making making all kinds of references throughout. HBO has posted the opening title sequence on YouTube at watch? v= s7L2PVdrb_8. Just remember to remove the spaces.

As for the change in the voting process. It seemed to me like a unique way for Blaineley to stir up drama without relying often on what had already been done by Chris. Don't ask me how she managed to get all the animals to participate in the punishment for Sierra, but I wouldn't mind hearing your theories.

**DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN THE REVIEWS!**

**Next Up:** Into the Unknown


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